Summer '10!

Looking back, I can still say I had a good summer, for consolation sake. I have went to a concert. I did some shopping last April. i have worked as a tutor of my sister and earned some money for some purposes. I have continued my drooping novel,though it's still not yet finish. I freely enjoy the net---chit-chatting with some friends, updating ALL my accounts, and starting to engage in some serious blogging (what is a serious blogging, anyway?) So it was still all worthy. Because these things? I can't say if I can enjoy it during schooldays. Oh yeah! Busy.busy.busy.

OK. How many days do I still have before school start anew? However long it is, I'm trying to stay mundane as if I have nothing to prepare for. I'm a geek but I hate reading in advance, so don't expect me reading some books related to my upcoming subjects. I'm actually still doing the same routine, waking and sleeping late. (Time check: 1:28 AM) Fortunately, my body is susceptible to my sched,changes. So i have nothing to worry about.

Actually, I'm busy working with an oplan with my co-listers. It's still a big secret. And no is blurting it out here. HAHAHA

Anyway, I actually fret when I saw my afternoon-shift sched. My earliest subject is 12nn and the latest is 8:30pm. Worst is I still have classes on Saturdays. Looks like I will have a no-gig-sem.this time. BUMMER. I'm still crossing my fingers for a sched.alteration. Cause I really hate going late at home. Waking up early is probably better than that. Another thing that suprised me is to know that our next p.e subject is SWIMMING. WTF?! I'm not yet prepared for it cause I was expecting it in the 2nd sem. I still need to loosen up my baby fats in my tummy.lols.

Aside from the things I aforementioned, I'm preparing myself, emotionally, for some chnges that would happen. Remember taht I had a rough 1st year in college? I wouldn't let that happen again. I want to make things the other way around. Ellaine next sem.would be better, stronger, and wiser. I will not let anyone bring me down again. Ok, I'm ready to face the next chapter of my life. Bring it on PD2!

eOw pOh.uZtAh nAh pOh kEo?jEjE.LaM mOh bAh uNg JEJEMON? jEjEjE

Goodness sake, it was hard for me to type the title of this blog.I kinda fret.

Anyway, you may encounter them in the text messages or even in social networking sites. The infernal hearsay about this so-called "Jejemon" is spreading like wildfire in the woods. It looks like it's the new "in". And as a frustrated (ehem) writer, it kinda freaks me out. With elicit response of "ha? Ano daw?" from readers who seem oblivious and unfamiliar with their "very own, weird lingo", they should toss a cheer for successfully caughting our and even Yahoo!'s attention. Bravo jejemons. Bravo. You did a job well done.

Before the jejemon came out from nowhere (and where the hell they got the word "jejemon", anyway?), loony and gobbledygook way of texting (or even typing) wasn't seem attention-stealer at all. That was, when those times, texting in that way is not yet so damn wordy and ambiguous. It is as if, as time and technology innovates, people gradually loss importance on fluency. Another tendency of indolence. Or it may have been a byproduct of a language evolution? (What the hell is language evolution, anyway?) But hey, we, the Juan dela Cruz, is the trendsetter of this stupid word passion. It made me cringe though. Fortunately, it hasn't gone international yet. NO! Don't even plan to. It's a downgrading disposition. It derogates the Filipino-literacy image. Ironically, we're known as one of the most fluent Asians in English language, both in speaking and writing. And now what? With this pop-issue, what may have the foreigners think of us now? Insane, lousy texters? Trendsetters of foolishness for limelight's sake? And what's your bottom line in this? It's like your making yourself into an illiterate Filipino. Admit it, texting in that way is so tiresome. Your making simple word into a complex, insane one. So complex that an average texter couldn't able to understand. They actually right, go back to elementary to revert your literacy. While it's not yet late and the word jejemon hasn't yet reach the Mr.Webster publication, go change and minimize the way you text and type.

I'm not saying that you should text the whole word. Hello! Cellphones were made for our convenience (well, unless you have a lot of load). Just make simple shortcuts. Minimize for eye-and-mind-friendly text messages. And why the hell you're smothering h,w,x,z in almost each word? Do you think it's cute? Well, not anymore. Go search the Google for jejemon's meaning and let's see what can you say.

JeJe pOh.iNgAtZx oLwEiXz.jEjEjE.

wew, nosebleed. T.T

If boredom kills...

...then I'm probably dead by now.

Summer is really a not-so-nice season for me to enjoy and have fun. I'm keeping the same routine everyday. Wake up-seat-sleep-Wake up-seat-sleep-wake up. (*sigh) Although I do a little tutorial on my sister. And I sometimes went out to shop, gig or just chill out. Actually, I shopped for some cool shirts last Tuesday in Festival mall. And now I'm truly penniless. I spend all my left-out savings from my piggy bank. And would you believe I forfeited a gig for a two cool shirts? Lols. Yes, I did! Blame Herbench, Penshoppe, and Human. Well, I have other reasons for not attending the benefit gig. I found it inconvenient because I'm not familiar with the venue, barely with the places in Makati. Rumor has it that minors were not allowed even with an adult companion. I missed seeing Markus Highway and Domino perform live. There would be a next time. I pat myself. :|

Aside from shopping, I surf the net every two days but sometimes I just blankly stare the monitor for minutes. Lame. I just missed being busy. That's why I'm keeping these blogs comin'. Cause I know I'll be missing this when schooldays and hell weekssss start again. Illogical right? But who am I to complain? I know it's what the majority of the students have to go through. Sometimes things just get out of our hands. We can't have and control everything. Just enjoy what you have and don't take it for granted.

Anywayyy, I'm an incoming Pre-dent. 2. And it sucks cause majority of our subjects are still minors. Honestly, sometimes i regret my course. I just realized that Dentistry is not my line. Not my passion. Not my expertise. Or may be I'm just saying this because we haven't feel yet that we'll become future dentists. Cause we're not yet hands-on. There were subjects which I think are futile and irrelevant to our course. Pre-dent. is technically only a continuation of high school. A waste of time. And a waste of money. Blame on the one who made the curriculum. Lols.

See! I'm out of myself again. I'm talking out of topic things again. Anyway, I'll just keep this short cause we have a trip to Pampanga tomorrow. Gonna pack now. Well, that's what I called VACATION!

My So-Called Summer Job

Summer is the best time for galaan, gimik, and gigs (for rockers like me, hehe). It's also the time when students like me are penniless. Why the hell we don't have allowance during summer? Lols. That's why I hired myself (yes, myself) as a tutor of my younger sister. I'm helping her to be prepared on her 5th Grade this June. Mind you, like normal jobs, I have salary, too. This is for P1.5K per month and my imaginary contract said it's for two months. I can extend it also. Hahaha. That P3K was supposed to be a gift on my recognition but my mama didn't agree. She's kuripot
you know, ok she said only thrifty. Anyway her propositon isn't bad at all. 2 hours everyday isn't tiredsome at all. At least I can used my summer vacation for sensible things. Anyway, I'm doing this for Eheads' BOXED SET. I know it's not yet released but I wanna be prepared cause I expect it'll be higher than P3K. I'm just armoring my pockets. And I know for the next months, Pupil will be joggling a lot of new projects. Of course, I don't want to be left out of the scene.

This is for the love of music you know, nuff said.

Pinoy Rock Duo Concert Experience

I wasn't super excited. and I had wonder why. Maybe because I prefer intimate gig than concerts. Maybe because it was not actually only Pupil who performed. It was a back to back concert of Bamboo and Pupil.

But i really love to go on that concert. It's only a stones throw away from our house. And I can resist Pupil. I miss seeing them perform especially Ely. In the first place, I thought my cousin will join me. She's a Bamboo fanatic and I'm a Pupil lister. See! That concert was meant for us. Though she didn't make it because her father didn't allow her to go. Then a week before the concert, I'd finally know how to get a ticket. A lister said I can buy a ticket on the venue itself. It's a seated-concert and a ticket has a certain seat and row number, which means a first-come-first-serve policy. So I hurdled and got a ticket 4 days before the concert. It was my first time to go in Balibago, particularly in Grand square stadium. Thanks to a few friend who gave me the direction. I'd discover another place again. Am I really not excited?

Pass forward to the day, April 17. I left our house at quarter to 6pm. I brought with me my Repeat While Fading book. No one knows maybe I can meet-and-greet them. Hope so. I arrived at the stadium at quarter to 7pm. There was already a queue of concert goers headed to the entrance door. i was looking for some familiar faces but I failed. "I'm so lonely...", pity myself. Actually, a lister would eventually come. She was just late. the security let us in at &:30 pm. I headed to the comfort room first, then went to the platinum area. it was the closest are to the stage. My ticket said D-12. My seat was quite near to the stage. The venue is obviously new. If I'm not mistaken, that concert was the first to be held on that venue. The stage was bombarded with a lot of lights. This better be good.

Then came the soul-sucking wait. If there's anything to complain in their venue, it will be the ventilation. It was so damn hot! It was not yet starting but I felt like a gas stove was in front of me. I planned for an escape route as Ma'am Day (manager of Pupil) said that the Pupil set will eventually start at 9pm. So what I will do for an hour? Though I don't wanna loose my "comfort zone" on my chair. So i just sit while tweaking my phone for photography purpose. *sigh How I wish my digicam is already in my hand.

As always, I met a new friend. She's also a Pupil lister. I would later jam with her and finished the concert. It was already 8pm and still no sign of Pupil or even a host. So I spent my time exchanging talks with her. I didn't expect i will jive with her cause I had this first impression of her being a sosyalera. She wore a dress that night. But I have to say i like her personality and I hope we'll be good friends.

8:30pm, the sound check begun! Yey! I already saw the silhouette of Glenn (road manager) and his "mahangin ba sa labas" hairdo, a renaissance of Edward scissor hands. My stomach grumbled as the crowd started to be massive. I went to their food stand. WTF! The foods and drinks are overpriced. Now i know why they don't allow foods and drinks inside the premises---to push foolish concert goers to but their edible products. We have no choice. If I won't eat or at least drink, maybe I'll falter in the middle of head-banging people.

9pm, there was still no sign of Pupil. I started to became impatient and at the same time disappointed. What more for those who are not as big fan as I am. Those who didn't know how to accept inconvenience(s) of their not-so favorite band. There were some morons who will abruptly shout and jeer for foolishness. Add up the corny punch lines of the hosts and the supposedly 8pm-start-of-the-show imposed on ticket and posters. It looked like I wanna walk out. That was not good. What took them so long? Was it because of the traffic in Olivarez?lols.

9:15pm. Ho and behold!---Pupil came! Woosh, that was close. I saw in Yani's reaction that "finally!" proposition corresponding to the audience. So their set started with Different Worlds as the line invites, "This is the opening of the show". Disconnection Notice was next. That was unusual, In all gigs i attended, they had put that song in the middle or epilogue part of the set. another oddity was the way Ely performed. I could say he was not in the mood that night. He was even neither smiling nor commanding the audience, "kayo!" with that two pinted hands signal. What happened? And there was a time I felt apprenhensive for Ely. There was a thought of me that may be he was sick then again. NO! Good thing just was a thought and the history didn't repeat itself that night (Remember, Ely had his first heart attack right after a Laguna gig).

Anyway, yani saved the night the again and briught up the mood on us with the suggestion of "yung mga matitibay ang tuhod pwede kayong lumapit". So wasting no time, I hurdled near the stage with my profound friend. Okay, forget what I said. We still rocked that night. And everybody was having a good time. From then on, the mob started the chant of "Ely! Ely! Ely!". now I knew what Dok talked about on what usually happens on their out of town gigs. Ely answered back with a chant of "Sta.Rosa! Sta.Rosa!" with his deadpan facade.

Then while Pupil performed "all this time" a shocking scene caught our attention. In the wings of the stage we saw "someone" crying (sorry, but I don't want to reveal his/her identity here) but not actually mourning. As she/he cheered and sung, she/he would eventually wiped her/his tears. That made me bothered at the same time curioused. Anyway, this would be another story.

Pupil did also a cover of Alice Cooper's I Never Cry. I became so surreal. I can't help myself but to gigled while Ely sung with all emotion. That performance was so heartfelt. The lyrics was so infernal. It was like a virus that clinged on me but it didn't actually made me sick. I super love it! It's officially my LSS song of the week.

The set ended up with Pare Ko. Waaa! another first time for me. The crowd went wild! It was like a Final Set Part 2. With the crowd shamelessly shout the cuss word "T*ng In*!" I could say that performance was just a jumpstart. Pupil leave without any word and made the crowd asked for more. But look like they were in a hurry.

We went away to the concert pit to breathe some air. Woosh! That was the first gig that made me sweat. I thought I'm gonna collapse. So while they were preparing for Bamboo's set, I bonded with listers and share some photos and videos. Then to our disbelief, we saw Dok and Ms.Ana behind the platinum area. In the first place, we were so awkward to asked for a picture because they were so sweet, with thier heads on the shoulder of another. Ahhhh. But sorry, we didn't loose the opportunity and found a good timing to apparently disturb them, hehe. This was my conversation with Dok:

Me: pwede magpapicture?
Dok: Sure
Ana: sige beh, kukuhanan ko kayo.
*picture
Me: ahh, Dok si Ely nasaan?
Dok: Naku wag niyo na hanapin yun. Di na lalabas yun.
Me: Sabagay. Ahh sige po, thank you and sorry sa isturbo.
Dok: Sige

But we didn't loose hope. we went beside the stage, near the wing. We were on the possibility that we can spot Ely backstage and asked for a picture. I texted Ma'am Day and asked if we could go backstage and take some pictures with Pupil. But as I expected, she didn't reply.

The Bamboo set started after 20 minutes. One of my accompany lister went home with her sister-in-law. May be she is not a fam of Bamboo. Hey, we're not fans of Bamboo either. But we made out of the most of our P350 ticket. We found ourselves enjoying Bamboo's performance. They did 4 covers of Rivermaya's songs. i never knew that Bamboo Manalac is so laidback when it comes to singing his former band's hits. The flame thrower, the confettis, and the pyrotechnic made Bamboo's set extra special compare to Pupil's. So was it a Bamboo concert? And Pupil was only a front act? WTF! It was so unfair. They said it was a back-to-back concert and not Bamboo's show. Was there any favoritism happened? Well, obviously, YES!

Okie forget my naysay with their concept. I went home at 12am with my back and my feet aching. Compare to normal gigs, it was still early. Anyway, the bottomline is I enjoy it. At least I crossover to other band's performance for a while. Though I'm a little bit disappointed that we didn't catch up Ely for a picture. That's ok. Recently, I predicted why Ely was gloomy that night. but sorry guys I don't want to blurted out it here.

5 S You Can Do During Summer

SWIM. Imagine this---sun, waves, and sand in one place---beach! We can visit a beach at any season but we can only appreciate its beauty during summer. You can do many things when you're in a beach. But one will not resist the inviting sound of water. Except you're hydrophobic,or least, afraid of the ocean (I wonder why Ely is afraid of the ocean.hmm). Anyway, if you don't have sufficient time for traveling, why not go to a stones throw resort in your place. It's a practical way to enjoy the water and the blazing heat of the sun with your friends and/or family. And don't forget to put sufficient amount of sunblock if you don't want to have skin cancer at worst.

SURF. Apparently, surfing has two diverse meaning---the traditional and the modern one. Traditionally speaking, surfing means landing your feet on a surfboard and playing with the big waves on a beach. Surfing has been innovated in our country and it's now consider as an extreme sport. Why then extreme, you asked. Well, not anyone can be a surfer overnight. It needs a lot of concentration on continuous practice. It's also a good way to rush those sleeping adrenaline in your body.

Moving on to the "modern surf", which is prominently known as "surfing the net". i don't know who got up on an idea to called it as "surfing the net". you can replace the word "surfing" anyhow you wanted to call it. Whatever. Anyway, the point in surfing the net is well, socializing and communicating. And the best time for a student like me to enjoy the Internet is summer! You can sit in front of the computer, all day, all night, without being bothered by your school works. I can name some social networking sites with all my hand fingers. And hell yeah, I've joined it all! Though three of amidst are the only active ones. The rest is, unfortunately, abandoned. HEHEHE. Well, I can resist my curiosity, "What's the site all about? Hmmm. Let me try it." And alas! After few days it'll be left out, unupdated. At least I'm knowledgeable in almost all the well-known sites. You can be, too. Just sign up.

SELL. You don't have t be a business man or a business-major student to make money. Just answer this question, "What's the best thing I can sell during summer?" Don't think of a big time business. Think only of those small scale business you can raise at your house. With enough capital, you can start making money. Every summer my mom sells ice cream on stick in our house. Don't belittle it. It's a best seller, especially for kids who want to feel cool down for just a matter of licks. It's on a practical prize especially for a tropical country like the Philippines.

SPORT. if you're a sporty-like person, summer is the best time to stretch out those sleeping muscles. Engage yourself in a sport that will improve your body tome without sacrificing fun. If you feel like it's the right time to loose weight then go to gym and obliterate those monolith cholesterol. If you're quite thrifty then find some alternative material at your home. you can jog also in the morning. That's more convenient and practical.

SLEEP. Oh yeah, this is the easiest way to waste your time and to kill boredom at the same time. Mostly of the students complain that they sleep late during school days because of obstinate joggling of assignments, projects, and whatnot. Yet their tendency during summer is still to sleep and wake up late. Insane true, right? Yeah, I'm guilty. Though some said they're demented enough to have difficulty in sleeping. Insomnia, I know. You can't deny that it feels so euphoric when you're waking up from a long sleep without forcing your body to. Ahhh, that's life! For a nocturnal like me, who sleeps at morning and feels so energize at night, interval sleeping during morning and afternoon is so mundane. Though there is the fiendish humid temperature ready to intervene in you quiet sleeping. Everybody complains about it. It so damn hot! Anyway, there's the air conditioner, ready to give you a cozy sleep.

An E-nterview of Fanhood

This is a mock interview of me about my sentiments on my fanhood life. It is done by my vehement friend who is a frustrated writer like me. Responds are way too serious (nuff said) than what you think. Though this interview doesn't intend to name-drop me to Eheads. I'm not a star. But all of us are wannabes.

*History: I-Interviewer; M-Me

I: Some of your classmates and friends said that you're a big Eheads' fan.
M: Yah, I'm a fan. Open naman ako about dun. Though not as big as others. Newbie lang ako eh.

I: So how do they react about it?
M: Wala naman. Di naman ako sobrang lantaran. Siguro yung iba nakokornihan, di lang sa akin sinasabi. Pero okie lang. Kanya-kanyang trip naman eh.

I: How did you discover them?
M: Through a highschool friend. She influenced me. Doon nagstart yung curiousity. Pero feeling ko mas fanatic na ako ngayon kaysa sa kanya.

I: So ano'ng 1st impression mo sa music nila?
M: Very unique. Kasi yung pinapakinggan ko dati is puro pop, puro foreign. Nahigh talaga ako (no pun intended). Parang "Wow iba 'to ah."

I: What is the positive and negative side of being a fan of an already dead band?
M: Positive yung naappreciate ko yung OPM dahil sa kanila. Negative kasi parang pointless na rin kasi wala na sila. But I support their current bands.

I:Like?
M: Pupil, Sandwich. I listened to Pedicab and The Dawn, too. Pero sa Pupil talaga ako pinakactive ngayon.

I: So may favoritism?
M: Oo,haha. Di naman maiiwasan yun eh.

I: How about seeing them live?
M: Napanood ko na sila nung Final Set Cocert. First gig ko sa kanila yun and hopefully not the last. Sa Pupil, maraming beses na. Napanood ko na rin si Raims with Pedicab. Si Buddy rin with The Dawn naman.

I: Did you already had a chance to talk to at least one of them?
M:Oo, si Ely pa lang. Kapag gigs ng Pupil.

I: Ano'ng pinag-uusapan niyo?
M: Wala naman. Batian lang. Minsan hi-hello lang. Tipid magsalita yun eh. Well, that's Ely.


I: Are you fond of taking pictures with them?
M: Oo naman. Kasama yun sa fanhood eh. Sayang naman yung opportunity kung di mo igagrab.

I: Kanino ka na nakipagpic?
M: Kay Ely pa lang din. Noong napanood ko kasi sila Raims,rock award yun. So mahirap silang hanapin offstage.

I: So how does it feel?
M: Starstruck. Kinikilig. Hahaha. Lalo na nung inakbayan ako ni Ely,hehe.

I:How does you parents feel about it?
M: Si mama noong una parang nairita siya. Pero kinalaunan parang inaccept na rin niya. Naalala ko dati bago ako pumasok sinabi niya sa akin na may guesting daw ang Pupil kahapon. Sayang daw di ko napanood. I was startled kasi parang ha? Kakagising lang niya noon tapos yun agad sinabi niya. Hahaha. Nakakatuwa.

I: Do you have a curfew when going to gigs?
M: Wala naman. Kasi minsan lang namn ako pumunta. Pinakalate kong uwi so far is 4am. Pinagalitan ako the next day pero di naman pinagbawalan.

I: So okie lang sa kanila?
M: Kay mama, siguro. Si papa di pa niya alam na pumupunta ako sa mga gigs,hehe.

I: Did it affect your studies?
M: Thankfully, hindi. Minsan lang naman kasi ako pumunta ng gigs. Hindi naman ako nagbubulakbol. Tamang balance lang. Kapag aral, aral. Kapag gala, gala.

I:Ano'ng masasabi mo about sa break up?
M: Sabi nga ni Ely, inevitable naman yun. Pero syempre as a fan, nakakalungkot, nakakapanghinayang. Pero as time goes by naiintindihan ko na na it was the right time for them to part ways. Its for their own sake naman eh. Kaya okie na yun.

I:Do you ever wish to go back in time sa 90s even for a day?
M: Oo naman. Kung may time machine lang eh. Gusto kong makita yung kasikatan nila noon.

I: So ano'ng masasabi mo sa mga naninira sa Eheads?
M: WALA NAMAN BASAGAN NG TRIP. Bahala kayo sa buhay niyo. HAHAHA. Minsan ipinagtatanggol namin sila kapag sobra na.

I: So you already meet some of your co-fans?
M: Oo, marami na. We're called listers. I'm glad kasi dahil sa Eheads marami akong nameet na new friends. Yung iba nakasama ko na sa gigs. Yung iba sa text. Yung iba sa internet. Ayun. Masaya kasi di awkward to meet a total stranger. In the beginning, isa lang naman kasi ang nagpabond sa amin---and that's the love for music. Pero kapag comfortable ako sa isang tao, we get the chance of talking about our personal lives. Part naman yun eh.

I: Bakit sa diname-dami ng banda, Eheads pa?
M: The best sila eh! Well so far wala pang pinoy band na nakagawa ng nakamit nila. Tsaka it was able to transcends from one generation to another. Sila yung isa sa mga pioneer ng OPM rock. And of course, yung songs. Makakarelate ka talaga. Parang it was really talking to you. Siguro nagkocross-over ako sa ibang music pero in the end of the day sa Eheads pa rin ang balik.

I: What's your most prized Eheads' stuff?
M: Lahat! Lalo na yung ticket ng Final Set. Pinalaminate ko pa yun. Birthday gift sa akin ng parents ko yun eh.

I: What's the craziest thing you did as a fan?
M: Siguro yung nagpaakbay ako kay Ely. Nakakahiya pero wish granted naman eh. Hahaha.

I: So ano ang Eheads sa buhay mo?
M: Teka parang familiar yang question na yan ah? Hahaha. Hmmm... ano nga ba? Inspiration? Pwede ring friend. Basta ayokong tawagan silang idol. Kasi parang your only after on their music. Eh ako pati personal life nila pinapakielaman ko. Hahaha. Kaya parang friend. Tsaka kapag kinakausap ko si Ely parang normal lang, casual lang. Nagsorry na nga sa akin yun eh. Hihihi. Ang panget naman kasi kung ipapahalata mo na super fanatic ka. Tsaka alam ko yun din naman ang gusto nila.

I: So how does the Eheads change your life?
M: Maraming nagbago noong naging fan ako. Nagkaroon ako ng "night life". May pinagkakagastusan ako. May dahilan ako lagi para magnet. Maraming new friends. Natuto akong mag-ipon. Natuto akong gumala sa mga lugar na di ko masyado kabisado. Marami pa eh.

I: Describe each of them.
M: Si Marcus siya yung pinakahippie and laidback. Rock n' roll lang talaga. Si Buddy, man of words yun. Smart siya. Si Raims, punk yun eh. Friendly and accomodating. Si Ely, enigmatic. Ayun medyo suplado pero pagkinausap mo makulit din.

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I'm not the biggest Eheads fan but you can think that I am. This is a way to relive their legacy in a small scale. You can always study Eheadsology. It is practically analogical to some aspect of Anatomy---students have to study an already dead body to fully acquire knowledge about it.

Rapture

You're a pigment of my mind
Truly, a one of a kind
From all I met before
Walking now beside the shore

Assume you're only an infatuation
My emotions now in perception
Know it's not yet an infer
This sentiments that linger

Please don't look me in the eye
Or I will make a lie
With you i feel so numb
Anytime I'll drop the bomb

do I have to let this out?
Or better not to shout
Let me have first your ears
Dwindle this little fears

Act in no conspicuous
Your presence makes me zealous
Otherwise I should be obscure
Nothing of you I wanna loose

Against the Dark

Sitting in the floor
In a near distance of the door
My body in laid back comfort
Doing my habit of all sort

In the wondrous midst of the night
Embracing the pillow in tight
Soothing withe breeze of the wind
Digesting this book, I've read

Crawling lizards in the wall
Waiting patiently for a call
Deafening silence outside
Looking the horizon by the side

As I wait for the snooze to come
Over thinking my yesterday's bum
Adhere headset in my ear
I know sleepiness will come near

In Retrospect

My proto-college life seems a year-long of roller coaster emotions---talking about dramas and blissful days. Albeit merely on the former. Hell, wait. you know it. I was (and will always be) the first naysayer of me studying in a school I never wanted to enter. And it's now an established fact. Some black horses gave me a reason to loathe more my first year in college and push me to a near-decision of transferring to other school. Though I never wanted to discuss the real score of the grapple between me and the so-called black horses (consult Mr.Webster for its meaning) I have no choice. Apparently, it was the highlight of my first year in college. How I wish I just took Dental Technology as my course so I can graduate in no time. But never mind. I'm now here. I need to work this course out.

Anyway, likewise as I said, it's an over spoil story to narrate all over again. i don't want to blurted out who is the real culpable of the fight. No on I think. It was a clashed of totally opposing personalities. They just over-reacted with my words-of-redemption to, yes, cheaters. I already regret my wrong tweets. Now i know---Facebook is public and Twitter is private. They're totally different site ready to indulge your burst of emotions. just don't post it on wrong persons if you don't want o meet your very own nemesis.

Another rue thing happened to me is the long-over consequences of chicken pox. It literally made a mark in my life----notwithstanding the scars on my skin. With that, I'd almost boil in shame for others' discern. the derogating facade on their faces were worst than their utter berate. Somehow, as I wrote this, the scars are all lighten up. Nevertheless, more serious problem had divert my overreacting attention. I had been pull out from the top, down to the fiendish spot---6th. And you know, I'm a very sensitive and tearjerker person. By being sensitive as I said, I became so depress and futile along those days. Then one day, my emotions just suddenly burst like a volcano rupture ready to turn into debris all the things it will go through. So you expected that I will berate? No, I didn't. I'd never been so vocal with my feelings. I found myself convenient to what Twitter could provide---a wall that I can spank without any complain. I typed all my tribulations concerning the unfair byproduct of cheating. I became so demented that I forgot there were eyes watching me---and my tweets, particularly. And ka-boom! Inane shout outs started to appear. unsavory words of redemption came out form the mouth of those muckraker. Their offensive stench cover the whole ambiance of our classroom. I considered it as an infernal room with no escape door.

In the first place, I accepted it as a mere karma for me to compensate. But as time went by, their attacks had been so nonsense and immature. They became so inadvertent on downgrading others. Unfortunately, my friends had to take their burden. I tried to reach out and spoke to them but they refuse. They're so hardheaded and egotistical. I've became so numb, so enigmatic just to ignore their repulsive attack. I bear it until last day of the classes.

Now, I'm in an emotional, anti-traumatic rest. I've been subtle. It won't be long and 2nd year will start. I'm looking forward to a "better" school year. And I'm expecting they'll move on to yesterday's bum.

"Look forward to tomorrow, but can I leave yesterday behind"

A song played.